More of Me

They say you are a “real” writer if you need to write like you need to breathe.  That is something that has resonated with me from almost every writer’s conference I have attended.  And I’ve been starving myself out of oxygen lately.

I have to say, I’ve been feeling a bit lost in some ways.  A bit not in control of what I’m doing or where I’m going.  Every day is full of “To do’s” and responsibilities.  Lots of somedays and in the futures. Lots of maybes.  I’m sure outwardly I posture the completely put together 20-something with the good job, wonderful husband, just starting grad school with so many possibilities ahead.  But I am certainly far from that on most days. Every day is also full of thoughts and things I want to write, need to write.  Not necessarily for other people, but more just to work things out inside my own head.  It may be cliché, but I’m tired of apologizing for feeling cliché.  It’s okay to feel cliché, people.

After tomorrow, I will have interviewed 7 different people about their blogs, their feelings about their blogs and their reasons for blogging.  And it has caused me to think a great deal about my own blog and what I use (or don’t use it) for. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve spent these last few years trying to find my blogging niche. The spot where I fit.  I was the “new wife finishing college” – I was the “focusing on the simple things” person and most recently I was the “finding happiness in everyday” person.  I could easily go on to be the “Grad School blogger” or some other definitive of that nature.  But none of those things are solely who I am. I am a wife, a grad student. I am someone who focuses (tries to focus) on the simple things and find the happiness and positivity in everything.  But none of those things defines me.  So it seemed it was time to blog in a place that encompasses more of me.  A place where I can write whatever I want.  A place where I’m almost sure only a few close friends and family will give a crap about reading what I say.  But that’s okay.  Because I’d rather write myself than try to fit myself into a niche right now.  Because that’s the only way I think I’ll really figure some things out.

So I can’t promise what you will find on this blog, but I can promise that it’ll be me.  More of me.  Not just the good happy shiny parts, either.  The reality is that EVERYDAY is a choice. And all of those everyday choices – the good, the bad, the awesome, the insightful, the stupid, the mudane – those choices are what make up life.

Here’s to making a choice to do something.  To write something.