Thoughts, Decisions and The Holidays Ahead

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Well.  It’s been a rough freaking time lately.  I could list on and on all of the crazy, ridiculous, sad and frustrating things that have happened over the last few months.  But that wouldn’t be productive would it?  Chris and I caught ourselves just laughing about it this weekend .  We should be freaking out because of vet bills and dead cars and all kinds of other things, but it’s just comical at this point. All of it.  And maybe that’s a testament to our strength (in self and in our relationship) and the maturity and stability we’ve learned over the last few years to take life as it comes.  Never easy…but when you really think about it, what other choice do you really have? I really do believe sometimes you have to hit the bottom pretty hard before things turn around. And of course I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

After making a few key decisions over the last few weeks…decisions that will greatly change my happiness, quality of life and direction – for the better, I feel like I’m already moving towards the new year, the new possibilities. In some ways I hope for 2013 to be the “Year of Me” so to speak. The year of me choosing things for me, and not because of others. Focusing on what’s important. The year of us, too. Making our relationship more of a priority.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I’m the one who’s always there for everyone else, the perpetual cheerleader – not that that’s a bad thing in itself, but it can also become detrimental to me and my own health. Unfortunately I am also the perpetual people pleaser who rarely makes decisions for my own well being and more often on account of others.  I think I am finally beginning to turn some of that around and figure out what really works for me and what I really want.  I did say, beginning.  It’s still going to be a MAJOR process and take a lot of effort.  But more on that later.  I’ve already been journaling about goals and plans for 2013 which undoubtedly will combine into a cliché new years resolution-y sort of post in the coming weeks.

But in the meantime I am determined to enjoy all of the wonderful things that this last month of 2012 has in store.  Zumba Bunco, Craft Club Cookie Exchange and making ornaments, Pinterest Party #3, our Christmas party even though I’m not sure how we’ll all fit in my house – (including seeing the best of Sacramento Christmas lights!) too much food and wine, baking and making Christmas candy, Yoga Holiday Detox at Fusion Yoga, It’s a Wonderful Life on the big screen(!!!), more Christmas movies at home – likely a few more rounds of Love Actually 😉 – baking cookies for Claire’s Hope for the Homeless Project, putting together stockings for the homeless at Loaves and Fishes, buying gifts for two children off of the sunburst project giving tree at Sac State (a tradition) – celebrating Christmas with my WHOLE family, 2 days in Huntington Beach, Disneyland on Christmas day, one day in Monterey, 12 days off from work. Not to mention 2013 planning.

Sometimes it takes listing all of the positive things out to really realize how much happy is coming our way this month.  It sure makes things seem quite a bit better and brighter.

Happy December!

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