On Imperfection

After talking with one of my friends recently, I started thinking about imperfection. I was telling her how some days I feel like I’ve totally got it together when it comes to Clare. Our tricks for sleeping and happiness work, and all is well. And then there are days where I’m at the end of my rope, where I want to cry because she won’t stop crying. I want to help her and I can’t and I feel awful and insecure and that I can’t possibly be good enough. It’s especially frustrating when the good days are straight back-to-back to the bad days. Or there are days where I can look at my body and say “Yes, you are awesome, you built a baby. You are now feeding that baby!” And others where I am so frustrated that I am not the same size that I was before pregnancy. And it’s not just some pounds around the middle mind you, it’s your whole pelvis changes shape after pregnancy. Luckily 90% of the time I’m a skirts and dress girl. But I digress…Anyway, I was telling her all of this and how Clare had kept me up nearly 5 hours the previous night – so fun. And she said thank you for being “real” about things. I thought about how true that statement is. Most of us aren’t “real” with each other. Especially in this social media digital age. People post their best selves online and we end up comparing our ‘everydays’ to other people’s best days. I’ve talked about this before when I quit Facebook for 9 months and I still have times where I waver about keeping my account active… But I am again reminded how important it is to be real with friends and how thankful I am for the friends who are real with me. For the poop explosion pictures…for the messy houses…for the call “when everything just isn’t going quite right” days… for sharing how you just washed the sheets and now they are covered in baby spit up…or cat throw up. Or…pick your poison. Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Motherhood is hard. Every person you meet is fighting their own battle of some sort, and that is always something to be aware of. And something we all forget at times. Chris was getting particularly impatient in traffic recently and I recalled something an old piano teacher had once told me. She said when she had gotten her breast cancer diagnosis; she had been in such shock that she drove home really, really slowly. Now every time I get angry at a slow moving car, I try to remember what she said. I have no idea why that person is driving the way they are. It could be something life changing, and being kind about it is better for them and better for myself. So remember in real life, and when you see something on social media that annoys you or makes you feel down about your own situation or self – that person’s life has a lot more than meets the eye. We all are fighting battles.

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